Let's Cram ANOTHER Whole Semester into Ten Episodes
by antinomian
Summary: I don't own Degrassi or any of its silly plotlines. THIS IS A PARODY OF THE 11TH THROUGH 20TH EPISODES OF NEXT CLASS, SO DON'T WATCH IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM YET. Anyway, if you want someone to make fun of the drama, intensity, romance, plot holes, bullshit, intrigue, bizarre renames of social networking sites, and tons of out-of-character behavior on this show, read my fic.


Author's Note: This is about Degrassi: Next Class SEASON 2/Degrassi Season 16. It's been uploaded a few places, but it's not technically available in Canada or the U.S. yet, so if you haven't seen it, don't read this fic. I'm going to spoil all the parts that don't make any sense or are silly.

This time, I might not parody every last plotline. I'm more just gonna be silly and random like I was in The Boring Point on my old account, so I hope that's okay with you all.

Maya Matlin sat in class while some big superstar amazing famous music producer guy (that Peter kid who used to work at The Dot) gave a lecture about what employers look for in wannabe big superstar amazing famous music producer people.

"Now I know you all thing it's really weird that I made it big in the music world while Sav, who you guys all actually _saw_ getting into some musical university, is nowhere to be found, but man like…I'm totally successful now n'shit," Peter said. "Not on meth or _anything_. It's super awesome!"

"Wow," Maya breathed. "He's such an inspiration."

"He's boning you with his eyes," Grace disagreed.

The only teacher Degrassi kept after hiring like five of them for season 1 of Next Class was like "I know you must be getting chills from hearing such a celebrity speak, Maya," the one remaining teacher said, "I got you an interview with this incredibly, insanely important and famous man, but I'll expect you to utilize the interviewing and resume drafting skills I've taught you in this course first."

"You mean the skills that most college graduates don't even have?" Maya asked.

"Those are the ones!" the teacher said brightly.

So then Maya went to the computer lab to finish up her beautiful looking fancy resume. Once she was satisfied that it was sufficiently better than anything a graphic design student in art school could come up with, she sent it to the printer, which Zig and Esme were leaning all over.

"You're on the printer," Maya complained.

"What, no worry? No obsessing?" Esme asked. "It's been like half a week, and you're not even stalking him to make sure he's safe. Guess he's not as special to you as Miles was."

"Look, can we please stop beating the Matlinsworth horse?" Maya pleaded, making a lot of fangirls cry.

"I half expected some big 'oh, Zig, why are you leaning on the printer? Did you _sleep_ on the printer? Did Jose throw you out, forcing you to _live_ on the printer? Oh, Zig, let me save you! You have to let me help you because I'm oh-so-worried even though I dumped you!' speech" Esme said, mercilessly mocking poor Maya.

Maya groaned angrily. "I do _not_ sound like that, now both of you get off the printer."

"Touché," Esme said.

"Is that French for touch?" Zig asked. "Cuz I think I'm supposed to know French or something."

Maya pushed past them and grabbed a random thing off the printer without looking at it. When Maya went into the interview with _Peter_ of all people, he was like, "Why do you have Zig Novak's resume?"

Peter held it up, and its formatting was nowhere near as nice as Maya's. It actually looked like something _I_ could do without help.

"Because my ex was talking to this girl, I got jealous, and there was a mix up at the printer."

Peter looked at her sternly. "You must _never_ let jealousy rule your emotions. Take my life for example. Did I let jealousy make me act like a complete lunatic when I liked Emma at the same time that Sean did?"

Maya didn't answer that.

"Okay, bad question," Peter said. "Did I go nuts with jealousy when Mia had to model with other guys?"

Maya didn't answer that.

"Bad question again. Did I do a bunch of drugs just because I was alone at some stupid party Declan invited me to just so he could hit on my girlfriend right in front of my face?"

Maya didn't answer that.

"Okay y'know what? Uh…just scrap me as a role model and fix your music with some fancy software that no high school underfunded enough to replace all the chairs with yoga balls for an entire year could possibly hope to afford," Peter said. "Use it to fix the one song by you that I actually like. Don't worry, audience. It's not 'Not Okay.' I know you're all sick of that song."

The audience breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Later that day, Maya accidentally liked one of Zig's pictures on Hastyfacegram. It put hope in his heart and shit. So much hope that that night, he stood beneath her window staring at her like some Edward Cullen/Romeo-esque stalker.

"I can't figure out how to fix this track," Maya complained. "Aye me."

"She speaks!" Zig said. "Oh, speak again, bright angel."

"Zigmund, Zigmund, wherefore art thou stupid?" Maya wondered out loud. (For those who don't know, "wherefore" actually means why, not where).

Suddenly, Zig climbed through her window all, "I really want us to get back together!"

Maya screamed. "Zig, after being swatted last semester and looted by gang members sometime before that even happened, I get a little scared when people break into my house."

That made sense, but Zig didn't listen. "Hey…" he said, "so…uh…after that sour ending season 1 got, only 1/3 of Degrassi's Holy Trinity was left in-tact. What do you say we get back together and make that 2/3?"

"I have to work on this track," Maya said.

"I know, but you liked something on my Hasterange or FaceTube or whatever it is the kids are using these days. That means there's still hope for us."

Maya frowned. "If it were up to me, we'd be back together in no time, but if we get back together, then that will mean there's no room for Zoëmund fans, Gracemund fans (there's gotta be one), Esmund fans, Torimund fans who still hold out hope that she'll return from wherever the fuck she went, Lolamund fans, and whatever the fuck else exists to hold out false hope that their ship will just end happily ever after with no complications."


End file.
